Finding, Working and Growing with a Mental Health Therapist
Author: Carolyn Eddy, LCSW
Finding the right mental therapist can feel like a big step, especially in a close-knit community where privacy and trust matter. I want you to know this: therapy is a collaborative process, and your voice matters from the very beginning.
It is more than okay to ask questions. In fact, it’s encouraged. Most therapists are glad to explain how they work and what to expect, and many will offer a brief phone call before the first session so you can get a sense of each other. Good questions to ask include their experience with concerns like yours, what a typical session looks like, how goals and progress are tracked, fees and insurance, and how they handle it if therapy is not working.
When you begin, give it a few sessions. The first meeting or two can feel awkward — that’s normal. If you feel heard, respected, and not judged, that’s a strong sign you’re in the right place. A good fit also means your therapist understands your goals, or helps you clarify them, and uses a style that works for you. Some people want more structure and guidance, while others prefer space to reflect. You should feel like you can be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable.
There are also signs that it may not be a good match. If you do not feel understood over time, if you are not making progress, or if you begin to dread sessions for reasons beyond normal discomfort, it may be time to consider a change. Green flags include a therapist who listens more than they talk early on, explains the process clearly, and checks in about how therapy is going. Red flags include pushing advice without fully understanding you, invalidating your experience, or acting like they have all the answers.
Switching therapists is okay. It is not a failure. It means you are advocating for yourself.
When you land with the right person, know therapy does take effort. Therapists do not “fix” people on their own. It is a partnership. Change can feel unsettling at first, especially as you try new ways of coping or step out of old patterns. Our brains can label change as bad when it is simply new.
Finding the right therapist may take some patience and persistence. But when you find that connection, it’s worth it. You deserve support that truly fits you.
Carolyn Eddy is a licensed clinical social worker, providing support and treatment recommendations for mental health and psychosocial conditions at Barton Psychiatry & Mental Health. Ask your healthcare provider for a referral to speak with a behavioral health specialist or view a list of area resources and therapists.
